Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
