I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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