I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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