and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
