No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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