So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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