Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
