I don't think brook has ever known best
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
