It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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