FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
