You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
