D3 body, D1 cock
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
