he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
