Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
