Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It's Friday. Sex?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
