the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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