Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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