her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
