Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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