Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
