I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
