No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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