and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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