hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
