We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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