I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
