just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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