I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
