do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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