I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
