we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
