So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize