she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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