We named our party play list daddy issues
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
