he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
