so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
