its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
