New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
