Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
