One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
