Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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