I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
