My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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