"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
