I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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