This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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