So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
