So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
