My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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