At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
