They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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