you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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