She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize