I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
