He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
