WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
