you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
