he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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